Teenage Awareness on Sex

It is critical for loving and responsible parents to address the issue of their teenager's awareness and knowledge of sex.

It is safe to say that most teenagers may be reluctant to talk about something as personal as the subject of sex with a parent, especially if they are not accustomed to sharing their feelings on intimate topics. The parent may even feel embarrassed to bring up the subject.  But before beginning such a discussion, it would be wise for the parent to decide what they are comfortable sharing about their personal experiences and beliefs on teen sexuality. 

A simply way to start the conversation is to ask the teen what type of questions do they have or what do they want to know more about regarding sex - this  will generally grab their attention.  The objective is to get the teen talking or at least willing to talk.   If the teen claims they know everything they need to know.  The next step for a parent is to ask a question like, "Are you aware that sex is not the same thing as love?" and follow up with , "Sex is a physical act while love is emotional."

It is important for the parent to listen and pay attention to what the teen has to say, as well as the words he/she doesn't say.  Paying attention to their body language is also important and whether they are at ease or trying to hide their discomfort.   If they're uncomfortable, it would be best for the parent to let them know that they've noticed and ask if they want to talk about what may be bothering them. They parent should also reassure them that they are not there to judge him or her.

It is also important that the parent let the teen know that the reason they are trying to have a discussion on the subject is because they love them no matter what they may have done or are thinking of doing, and they should feel comfortable talking with them.  If the teen chooses to be silent, allow him/her to be silent. Sometimes silence is a way for people to process information - teens are no different, and they need time and space to process.  Parents just need to assure them that they will be available whenever they want to talk.

It is not a good idea for teens to rely on answers on the subject of sex, from their friends, the streets, or the media.  Parents should build trust with their teenager, so If he/she has unanswered questions, they will feel comfortable in going to their parents for accurate information. 

Parents should let their teenager know that protection is not a 100% guarantee against pregnancy, but still offer advice on obtaining protection.

More importantly, parents should let their teenager know that, according to statics and other documentation, "STDs and unwanted pregnancies are not the only thing to worry about from sex. There are other conditions and diseases that get transmitted from sexual contact, such as crabs. One increasingly common disease to worry about is molluscum contagiosum. It is a virus that infects the skin and causes large lesions that can last for two years or more. If someone has been diagnosed with molluscum contagiosum on/in their genitals or pubic area, they should know that there are different treatment options available.

The first step in protection is education. Condoms (outer surface barrier methods) are the only effective contraception in STD prevention. Both the male and female condoms are effective but do not offer 100% protection from transmission. In fact, only abstinence can provide protection from STDs, and many STDs can be passed in non-sexual ways, either with body-to-body contact or surface-to-body contact."

Having an educational discussion on the subject of sex, does not advocate teen sex. However, statistics show that teens as young as 13 are engaging in sexual activity. It is in both the teen's and parent's best interest to have the talk.  When hormones and peer pressure kick in, a wise and educated youngster, who has previously given thought to and made decisions about his actions, has a better chance of living the life he wants than one who has not prepared himself for the inevitable emotions and situations that will come up in life.

Today's Teens Face Countless Problems

Being a teenager has never been one of the easiest tasks, but today's teens are facing countless problems and challenges.

A number of adults think that being a teen today is the same as it was when they were an adolescent, nothing could be further from the truth.  Although yesteryear-parents may have been strict and life seem hard. On the grand scheme of things, it does not measure up to the challenges and life threatening decisions today's teens face just about everyday.

In the normal course of a teen's day, he or she may encounter any number of these challenges:

Depression  With all that they see and do, teens face depression today at an alarming rate as compared to just a decade ago.  Depression is not something that just goes away, but can cause them harm and threaten their lives.

Driving  Teens drive drunk.  Teens drive under the influence of drugs.  Teens get in cars that others are driving under the influence.  Although a number of teens may be responsible drivers, they share the road with those that are not.

Drugs  Kids today are not just smoking basic marijuana - it is laced with other hallucinate drugs.  They are also into meth, crack and other strong and deadly drugs.   In addition to the illegal list of drugs, teens are reaching into the medicine cabinets and abusing prescription medications such as, Vicodin,  Valium, Xanax, Ritalin, Adderall, Oxycontin, and whatever other prescription medications they can find.

Sex  Not only are they exposed to it on the television and the movies, but they are encouraged by others.  They may be engaging in sexual acts that parents have never heard of  -  At school, after school, on the car ride home - there are many opportunities for them to do so, and more than likely they are not  Practicing Safe Sex.

The Choking Game is a senseless activity causing death and suffering for thousands of families worldwide. It often begins with teens choking each other or themselves until they pass out, as a way to get high without the risk of getting caught with drugs or alcohol. It ends with thousands of kids dying or suffering permanent brain damage each year.

Violence  Today's teen problems often revolve around violence.  They see friends with guns at school or after school.  They witness huge fights.  They hear threats.  They see anger and deal with it daily. 

In additional to the issues listed above  teens also have to deal with:

·         teen pregnancy

·         eating disorders

·         obesity

·         cyberbullying

Helping today's teenager

Lower level teen problems can be just as deadly.  They face lying, cheating, emotional trauma, learning disabilities and divorce.  All of these things a child will face daily in some cases.  In those cases, it is no wonder that they have low self esteem, high drop out rates and some students will break under the pressure.  Teen problems should be noticed and addressed by their parents first, however this is not always the case - and when this occurs, the teen's well being will fall to the wayside.

Whether or not you think today's teens have more problems, bigger problems or just different problems, it is important to get that teen help for those problems before they become overwhelming.

Some Ways to Save Money and Be Able to Buy a Little Something

If you're like the average consumer, you're not spending sleepless nights trying to figure out ways to save money so you'll be able to buy a little something. No, you want it when you see it, not after you have saved to afford it. Because as we all know...

It's so much easier to spend money than to save it, and it's a helluva lot more fun too. But with the current economic crunch, a lot of people - at least those with a little less change then others, are trying not to spend so much while in wait of the seriously delayed economic turn-around.

It's true retailers aren't seeing as many people hanging out in the malls as in the lean days of excessive-expenditures, when even middle-classers (now the new poor) were splurging on the latest over-priced fashion item. However, if you're fortunate enough to still be able to spend a dollar without taking out a pay-day loan. Congrats! For all others wanting to know what they can do...

Here's a short list of ways to save money and still be able to splurge on that little sumtin sumting or something (whatever the case might be) every now and then.

• Lower your food bill. First, try eating at home more often instead of going out. Yeah, yeah, some people don’t want to cook, don't know how to cook (that clearly escapes me) or are too lazy to cook. But if you don’t cook, how do you expect to eat? You can save more money buying groceries than eating in a restaurant. Maybe not a whole heck of a lot, considering the costs of groceries these days, sure we've had some weather issues that may have had an effect on the crops, but ... "Ooops, I digressed."

You can cut cost by doing it yourself, but don’t deprive yourself from having some fun. You can still go out to a restaurant but instead of ordering as much, try to get something else off the menu that isn't as expensive - and try, I said try, to limited yourself to one cocktail, two at the most.

• Save on utilities, by simply turning off the TV when no one is watching, you can save. If you want to lessen your electric bill, do the laundry and ironing once a week. This will mean that the laundry may pile up slightly but hey, you wanted to buy new clothes anyway!

• Lessen your trips, gas prices are ridiculously out of control, and consume a lot of your money. The best way to ease this burden, is to be the owner of Exxon, and if that were the case, you wouldn't be reading this post - now would you? Barring being independently wealthy with no concept of the costs of living; another way pass this hurdle is to schedule your trips to coincide with those that are necessary, or consider car pooling.

• Recycle, here's a novel and obvious way to save money for that dress or whatever the must-have item of the moment may be, just don't buy it. Especially, if it's for a one night event, shoot if possible, borrow it from one of your friends. If that doesn't sit well with you, wearing someone else's' clothing is not everyone's forte, grab something out of your own closet that you can recycle with the right accessories to turn the outfit into a glorious eye-popper. Or consider checking out the thrift stores for unworn pieces.

No one wants to be so concerned about pinching pennies that even Abe Lincoln himself starts to scream, but if you consider some of the above ways to save and be able to buy a little something, you just may very well be able to buy even more than you think.

LOVE THAT SNOW - Diary of a Mad Shoveler

December 8: 6:00 P.M. It started to snow The first snowfall of the season. The wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge snowflakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic, we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9: We awoke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I have ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry. We will definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that is possible. Bob is such a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14: Snow, lovely snow! Eight degrees last night. The temperature dropped to minus twenty. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back in the afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize that I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so much.

December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and two extra snow shovels. Stocked the freezer too. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think she is silly.  After all, we aren't in Alaska.

December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my rear on the ice in the driveway while I was trying to put down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour. I think she's very cruel.

December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. I guess I should have bought a wood stove, but I won't admit that to her. God, I hate it when she is right.  Can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. took all day. Damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they are lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I will have to shovel or the city will bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white stuff fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt until August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed to go out to shovel and then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, peed and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. I tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think he's lying.

December 23: Only 2" of snow today. And, it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she.....nuts??? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago. She said she did, but I think she's lying.

December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by the snowplow, I broke the shovel. I though I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the SOB who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his family jewels. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and than he comes down the street at a
100 miles and hour and throws snow all over where I have just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas Carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the darn snowplow.

December 25: Merry Christmas! 20 more inches of the darned slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow. Then, the snowplow driver came by and asked for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her.

December 26: Still snowed in. Why the heck did I ever move here? It was all her idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.

December 28: Warmed up to above-50. Still snowed in. The wife is driving me crazy!!!!!

December 29: 10 more inches of snow. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it will collapse. That's the silliest thing I have ever heard.  How dumb does he think I am?????

December 30: Roof caved in. The snowplow driver is suing me for a million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.

December 31: Set fire to what was left of the house. No more shoveling.
Author Unknown  

Social Networking And Teens - Proceed With Caution

 

Social networking and teens seem to go hand and hand these days - some seem to think it is a part of growing up and gives them a sense of belonging to the popular groups, and others look at it as a means to escape the reality of not being socially accepted.  While it is possible to engage in some harmless fun on some of the websites, there are also risks involved, which is why teens should proceed with caution.

Since teens don't consider themselves kids anymore, no matter how much the parents long for them to remain so, they pretty much know what type of information about themselves they should or should not make public - however, parents should from time to time reinforce  what is and is not acceptable to show and tell on the internet highway of life.  It is okay to talk about hobbies, sports, a favorite song or band, but it is never okay for a teen to post their phone number or address  - doing so will only encourage strangers to contact them or show up at their home uninvited.

A few good practices to keep in mind when teens are setting up or using social network websites:

• When they open an account, they should use a screen name and not their real name.

• The password should never be shared with anyone,  not even their BF.

• Only add friends that they know in real life like their classmates, neighbors and family members.

• It is best to use the privacy settings that are available, so that no one outside their friends will be able to read their posts - doing so will prevent people that are not on the friend's list from viewing their post or photos. 

• Before posting something, make sure that it is tasteful and not sexually provocative.  You can make edits using some programs to remove any personal identifying information.

• They should not post any detailed information about any plans, like where they will be on the weekend to avoid meeting someone who could be a potential threat.  Indicating they are going to a movie is fine, just avoid indicating the location of the theater.

• Should they encounter any harassment or negative comments on their profile, it should be reported to the administrator, and brought to their parent's attention.

Furthermore, teens should immediately end any chat where the person asks too many personal questions including, their attitude toward sex or about their physical features - normally this is a sign that the other person is trying to manipulate them into having sex.

It is important that teens just be themselves when logged on to social network sites - they should not allow themselves to be bullied or pressured into doing something they don't want to do or that may cause harm to themselves or others.

There is nothing wrong with having some harmless fun or sharing activities with your peers.  Unfortunately, far too many teenagers are too blasé' (laid back) when it comes to the legal pitfalls of using social media, especially when it comes to posting explicit photos online. Sadly, only a small percentage would even bother to ask their parent(s) or an adult about the dangers of being online.

More importantly, It is very risky for a teen to attempt to meet with someone they've only known online.  Should he or she find them self compelled to do so, it is advisable to meet in a public place and take a parent along for the first meeting to ensure there won't be any problems.

Again, Social Networking can be an enjoyable pass time for teens, but they should remember to proceed with caution, especially when sharing information with strangers.